He knew all along (Cloud-Tifa)
by brancan2
Summary: He knew all along... He knew that I loved him, adored him, watched him. But he never once looked my way, nor even tried to make my mind go to peace whenever he would leave the school to fight a gang. But what did I expect? I was just me.


_Time sometimes flies past you and sometimes your too slow to see it..._

_Don't be slow, turn youself around and go after what you want. Because before you know it, your time will be up. And when you time is up...not even all the money in the world can buy you more time._

..._.._

_Dear Journal,_

_It was nightime, rain slapping against the roof, not leaving room for silence. The darkness of the night seemed to cover everything it could get to, like a blanket of shadows. _

_It was warm, yet somehow a chilling feeling could be felt beyond that. I never thought anything exciting to happen to me. But tomorrow, I'm going to Clouds house for a overnight stay._

_...Alone with him..._

_Something amazing is going to happen tomorrow night. But I only have one question. _

_Will I be the one who gets hurt? _

_October 12, 2009_

_Diary of Tifa Lockheart_

**_Tifa_**

I sat stiffly on the couch, trying to concentrate on my reading and ignored the man who sat next to me, intentionally seducing me just by sitting there, letting his body heat surround me.

I couldn't believe Yuffie, the girl who I_ thought _was my friend had blackmailed me into staying at Cloud Strifes house. Cloud! The guy who sits in the back of the classroom, ignoring the teachers lessons, and sending the teacher a death glare if they dare to even acknowledge him.

The same guy who killed a police officer, went to court, and won. The same guy who the popular people don't dare to cross, but still whisper about him behind his back, secretly being scared shitless of him like every other sane person.

The same guy who smokes on the top floor and even though the school staff knows exactly what he's doing, they don't bother to try to suspend him. The same guy who was the son of a rich lawyer, and could get out of any situation because he had the looks, money, and power.

The same guy who I had been watching for days now.

I sighed softly, blushing when I felt his eyes on me. I could feel the heat of his stare on my back, and I felt sweat threaten to drip off my brow. He was looking at me. HE was looking at me, and not rolling his eyes in disgust or making a bland remark.

He was just staring at me, no expression in his eyes, making me fidget slightly as I forced my eyes to stay on the book and not stray to his face. I would be in dip shit then. Even strangers could read my face like a book, and the thoughts in my head weren't appropriate to be seen by anyone.

Finally he turned away, grabbing a cigarette from a pack on the coffee table that sat crookedly in front of the couch we both occupied.

I winced as he lit up the paper that would one day be his death, and lifted it to his mouth, inhaling slowly, the muscles in his jaw moving slowly, smoothly. I watched him quietly, and couldn't help but feel sadness in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know why I felt it, but it was just there. Suddenly, he glanced towards me, his ice blue eyes met mines for a second, and once again I felt my body go hot.

I cleared my throat loudly before jerking my head back to the book, forcing myself to read the words. At first the lines just seemed like blurry...well, lines. But my vision cleared and I could see the words clearly. I began to softly read out loud.

_"Since time is the one immaterial object which we cannot influence - neither speed up nor slow down, add to nor diminish - it is an imponderably valuable gift. Each of us has a few minutes a day or a few hours a week which we could donate to an old folks home or a children's hospital ward. The elderly whose pillows we plump or whose water pitchers we refill may or may not thank us for our gift, but the gift is upholding the foundation of the universe."_

_' __City people try to buy time as a rule, when they can, whereas country people are prepared to kill time, although both try to cherish in their mind's eye the notion of a better life ahead'_

I brought my thumb to my mouth, wetting it slightly, before flipping the page over. I skimmed the page, suddenly not even trying to pretend to read. I knew the time would come when Cloud would be gone forever if I didn't take charge...so how could I tell him my thoughts without sounding selfish? Besides, would he even take me seriously?

I was the normal girl. Sometimes the teachers pet, sometimes the rebel. My life wasnt interesting nor intriguing. I wasn't beautiful, but I wasn't ugly either. I was just me and that was it.

When I did something worth talking about, there was always someone who did something bigger, more exciting. I wasn't bullied as much as other girls because to them **I._ wasn't_. there. **

The only person who really saw me was Yuffie, ,maybe Aerith, and even they knew my faults made me a less desirable person. I had never even kissed before. No guy had ever looked at me beyond a friend because that's who I was. Just a friend that you could go to when no one else was there.

So what made me think...what made me even _consider_ that Cloud would look at me the way I wanted him to?

I sighed, pushing those thoughts away and concentrating on the book. Yes, I was a coward. I didn't think about something if I knew it would only frustrate me. If I was threatened, I ran away.

No one likes cowards right? No one cares to be around them. Well guess what, cowards also don't care. I like to think of myself as an honorable coward though. At least I dont drag down others with me. If im going to fall, die, be destroyed, then I'll accept it.

Its that simple. _I'm_ that simple.

Suddenly a quote caught my eye, and I read it slowly, my brown eyes taking in the meaning. I felt a tight feeling in my chest, but read it over, letting myself grow weak again.

_Time sometimes flies past you and sometimes your too slow to see it..._

_Don't be slow, turn thyself around and go after what you want. Because before you know it, your time will be up. And when you time is up...not even all the money in the world can buy you more time._

I knew it was crazy to think what I was thinking. But I felt that it had been written just for me, and was warning me to take a chance.

I took a deep breath and turned towards him, my eyes traveling over his body, the body of a guy who worked hard at a factory even though he was rich. His eyes were closed, his long eyelashes casting a feathery shadow over his cheeks.

I could barely make out the smooth lines of his face since it was so dark, and his long, shaggy blonde hair didn't help either. He still had the cigarette in his mouth, the small ball of flame being the only source of light in the dark living room.

"...Cloud?" I whispered, setting the book down on the table and hesitated, before sliding closer to him. He didnt move, didnt even flinch. Was he asleep?

Fine, that was good for me then. I could say how I feel without feeling so...akward. I stood up and sat on the floor beside his legs, leaning against the couch. His knee's were right next to my face now and I rolled my eyes at the rips and tears in them before concentrating.

"Cloud...I dont know how to say this. B-but I dont think you know how much influence you have on people. You act cold and distant, and honestly it just makes you seem like your hurting. Your hurting and its so obvious. At least to me...I guess its safe to say since you asleep, that I've always liked...loved..."

I paused, looking up at his face, which was now darkly shadowed. The flame had now went out, and it was completely black. I couldn't see his face anymore. The only way I'd know he was awake is if he said something, considering he didn't even seem to be breathing while he was asleep. I pushed my hand to my chest, feeling the normal pace of my heartbeat, then pressed my hand to his chest.

It was solid and hard, like a wall. But it was also warm, and I could slightly feel the rise and fall of his chest. But I couldnt feel his heartbeat...not really. I continued my confession, moving away from Cloud and sitting right back on the floor.

"Lets just get it over with." I muttered, taking another deep, shuddering breath. Now was not the time to be a coward. Mya had spent lots of time and energy trying to convince her stepbrother to let me over, actually managing to convince since he apparently owed her,and I wasn't going to waste it.

"I love you Cloud Strife and will be damned if I cant have you." I stated boldly before sitting up slightly and pressing my lips to what I assumed was his lips. It was hard, slightly smooth, and sharp. I always assumed lips were soft...either that or something was wrong with Cloud...

"That's my nose you moron." A deep voice chuckled, and I felt warm breath blow against my neck, making me shiver.

My heart jerked in my chest and I gasped, jumping back and banging my head on the table. A stinging pain shot through my head and I hissed, grabbing onto my now throbbing skull as I fell to the floor on my side, moaning. I didn't register that Cloud was sitting on the couch, watching me, until the pain died down and I looked up.

I could barely make out the outline of his body as he leaned back on the couch, a cigarette in his hands once again. I saw movement as he suddenly leaned forward and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards him. I felt his knee's dig painfully in my stomach as he slowly hauled me to his chest, the cigarette not once leaving his hand.

I looked up into his face, and although I couldn't see his face clearly, I could surely see his eyes. Blue, practically glowing orbs that pierced into me, and for once it wasn't emotionless. The look in his eyes showed something I didn't dare try to decipher. Because if i did, I knew I would just be fooling myself. I forced myself to ignore my racing heart, and boldly stared back.

"Is there a reason why you have me straddling you ?" I asked softly, succeeding in keeping my voice steady, but my voice sounded unbelievably loud in the large, dark house.

I saw his eyes darken slightly before he chuckled, and I could hear a smirk in his voice as he pushed me forcefully onto the couch, my back colliding with the cushions. I stared at him, shocked as his hovered over me, his hands holding on to my shoulders in a vice grip, and his Blonde hair hanging down, the edges brushing onto my face.

I didn't dare move as he leaned closer, he's eyes looking menacing yet gentle at the same time. When his face was close enough that his nose was brushing mine, and his heated breath was blowing on my face, he opened his mouth.

"Tifa_, what if I told your time isn't up_?"

And the funny thing is, all I could do was sit still, feeling numb and confused as he slowly brought his face even closer to mine, brushing his lips against my throbbing mouth softly, sending tingles up my spine. His lips were cold. So cold...

Eventually after coming to my senses, I closed my eyes and kissed him back, bringing my arms around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer, begging god to not let this be just a dream.

My prayers were answered when the next morning, I woke up with nothing but a over sized Shirt covering my body, and Cloud laying next to me on his bed, his face completely serene as he layed there. His arm was wrapped around my waist, he was shirtless, and his long blonde hair masked his face, though I could see a satisfied smile enhancing his usually emotionless features. I wondered if it was because of me.

Sunlight peaked through the white curtains of his window, and I could hear birds chirping as the world slowly began to come to life. I yawned, but quickly covered my mouth, watching as Cloud stirred in his sleep but once again went dead still. I found my phone lying underneath his bed, and texted Yuffie, telling her to come pick me up.

I felt different, and I knew Yuffie would be able to see it too. I no longer felt like the invisible, completely normal girl I was. I was different, more confident, and I felt so...I couldnt even describe it. I once again looked at Cloud, and just stared at him for a moment, before leaning down to place a kiss on his forehead.

And as I slowly tiptoed out of his room with my clothes piled in my arms, only one thing went through my mind, making my heart slowly feel pain and unsureness.

'I wonder if he knew all along.'

...

I am not, I repeat NOT going to be adding chapters to this. It was something similar to what I went through with a certain someone when I was younger. Luckily, even though we broke up, we're still friends and he's gotten over some things in his messed up life. Originally my FF version for this was going to be a vincent/tifa oneshot. I decided Cloud for the last minute XD

Words of advice: You are special, and someone out there loves you. No matter how sad you feel, no matter what you go through, no matter what life seems to throw at you, you can get through it.

I know I always do. :)

( The non final fantasy version if on wattpad if you dont like final fantasy XD )


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